confession

most days i do not like my job.....

i don't enjoy feeling like such an inconvenience to so many families or teachers because i have to spend an hour with the kid. i don't like calling families to try and schedule "convenient" times for me to see their kids. i don't like talking to cps. i don't like foster parents who think that they are speech therapists and can tell me whether the child needs therapy or not. i don't like all the driving around and being by myself all day long. i know there are people who long for that kind of solidarity, but i'm just not made for it. maybe its b/c the jobs i have had where i could actually have a conversation with someone have been rare---

nonetheless i work with kids and that always brings joy. their hugs are priceless. their excitment for a "surprise," can not be compared. their smiles are contagious. they can be eager to please and eager to love. they can say the most unexpected things that can bring a smile to anyone's face.....

today i had a child you was acting up, and i had to remind him to turn on his ears and start behaving well. his response was this, "mrs. monique, are you going to take me to jail with the police?"

i asked the same kid {working on wh questions} "what to you do if you cut you finger?"
he said as plainly as possible, "well you are supposed to hold it up so ET can fix it."

another kid... i held my hand out to the side and asked if was left or right?
"well mrs. monique you are supposed to hold out this arm {pointing to my right} so that willy can see and jump up." {referring to the movie free willy, he loves animals}

and then i remember...we live in a fallen world. no job will be perfect. i can be unhappy and sulk, or i can embrace the only perfection before me, Him. His plan and why i have this job is all part of my sanctification to bring me closer to Him. and these kids and their unpredictability are small gifts that i get the opportunity to share in. ever extending grace to remind me that its not about me anyway. thankfully....